Hear me out

March 9th-passed by with almost no blip on my radar. I didn't even think about it until this moment. My life has changed so drastically in one year and I feel like I haven't taken proper pause on it. 2009 was filled with ups and down and there were more times than I could count on my hand when I thought I wouldn't make it. I literally wanted to give up and just lay in bed. I relied heavily on other to breathe air back into for me. I've been through so much in the last few years, I can't even talk about it-who's ear have not talked to death to? Sometimes I want to cry, because I feel so much anxiety. While this year has been truly rewarding so far, which I'm so grateful, I can't stop but wonder when that other shoe will drop.

Many new people have entered my life in 2010 and keep telling me to enjoy it. Stop worrying, everything will be okay. But I'm so used to this ache I always felt and now that its gone, I don't know what to do. I need affirmation. But how can I get affirmation from new people when I can't even explain why I need to hear it?

These are not new fears but old ones that constantly creep up on me when I least expect it.